Saturday, August 22, 2015

90 Days Sober

90 days sober today. 90 days alcohol free. I definitely wasnt sure if I "qualified" to be an alcoholic since I wasnt chemically dependent on alcohol. I would usually get black out drunk at least 2 times a week, and it would have been more had my job not gotten in the way. I was missing almost a day of work every week to 2 weeks. I was lying to myself and my family about the amount of drinking I did. I could never just have 1-2 drinks, that was impossible. I mean, what is the use drinking if your not going to get drunk, right? In February 2015, I started seeing a substance abuse counselor. I opened up to her, and let the truth come out. I drank to get drunk, period. I drank until I blacked out. I usually fought with my husband every night I was drunk, or I would sit up until 4am posting on Facebook. Most friends would know if I was posting a lot past midnight, I was drunk. I was called 'Drunky McGee' a lot from a close friend of mine, and it was pissing me off. Something had to give.

Today I feel better, and my life has definitely changed. I see mornings now, where before I would sleep all day. I am more driven to finish college. I have more time to live life. I am not as emotional or depressed as I would be about life. I am seeing a therapist once a week, and that helps so much. I have a great support system with my family. I am one lucky girl.

Going to attend my first face to face meeting today. I have been putting it off, but I am going to make myself go. I know that I am not fully committing to the steps, and I need to fully commit to my sobriety.